think before you speak

think before you speak

Verbal abuse whether it be in a marriage, administered at workplace or whether inflicted on a child leaves scars too permanently.Verbal abuse can leave a person emotionally upheaval and mentally disturbed. It can also affect the physical condition and overall well being of a person. Any abuse that constitutes of derogatory comments, insults, debasing behavior and treatment aimed at the confidence of the person at the receiving end is verbal abuse. Perpetrators of verbal abuse usually have both short and volatile tempers, extremely unpredictable mood swings and a penchant for humiliating others especially in public. think before you speak

The following are the mechanisms abusers resort to while meting out offensive behaviour :

1. You’re Not worth of me!

Abuser directly or indirectly, in a variety of ways, lets his victim know that he or she is unwanted. Putting them down or belittling their needs are some ways this type of emotional abuse may manifest. Other examples can include telling a person to leave, or worse, to get out of one’s face, calling them berating names, hurling cuss words.Belittling someone’s integrity, labelling, screaming or swearing are all some or the other type of verbal abuse.

2. Your’e Not Needed

Not showing any kind of interest and withholding affection to someone can be very demeaning. Often in troubled marriages husbands resort to this kind of behaviour with their wives as they know in the back of their minds that the wives are financially and emotionally dependent on them (in most cases: blame our upbringing, culture and the fear of society from letting women in troubled marriages break free).

3. Instilling FEAR!

Abusers who use threats, yelling and cursing and resort to derogatory language are mentally stab the hearts and the minds of their prey. Threatening with harsh words, causing physical harm, abandonment or in extreme cases giving their victims death threats and making them fear for their live is what abusers derive pleasure in doing.

4. I will not Set You Free!

Abuser’s don’t let their victims engage in social activities or let them mingle with their family or peers. They might do this as they fear that their victims might speak out to others about what is being done to them.





  • Stress Management:When someone is verbally abusive toward you, you must do is find a sufficient way to deal with the stress associated with this treatment. No one “makes” a person feel a certain way or forces a person to respond to a situation in a specific manner; your response to stress from a verbally abusive person is your choice. The way you view the situation, such as realizing that you cannot change a verbally abusive person’s behavior and the way you choose to handle the abuse can help you manage your stress.


  • “Stop it!”-Know when its Time to turn a Page Or close a book for ever!:Setting boundaries with verbally abusive people requires you to assertively express how someone else’s verbal abuse makes you feel and that you don’t want to be treated in this manner, and can also indicate consequences for repeated violations of overstepping your boundaries. When your friend or significant other beings yelling at you or speaking in a condescending tone, tell him you do not like him speaking to you in that way, because it makes you feel unhappy that he does not respect you. If he insists that he will change and asks you not to leave, tell him you will consider being available to him once, he seeks some help for his abusive behaviour and practices healthier communication. If the Abuser Yet Doesn’t Stop make a choice ,no matter how Hard it is, Remember you don’t need a Toxic Relationship!
  • When all Else Fails There’s Family!:Family & Friends can help you deal with verbally abusive people by providing you with emotional support. Keeping your anger penned up inside can exacerbate your stress levels and make you feel even worse. Talking to your friends about the various emotions you experience is a healthy way to cope with a verbally abusive relationship.